


Fly Away Home

by earth_dragon



Series: Fly Away Home [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Drama, M/M, Romance, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-19
Updated: 2015-07-07
Packaged: 2018-01-02 01:40:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 10,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1051051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/earth_dragon/pseuds/earth_dragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Benny had been driving in the darkness for a long damn time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Light

**Author's Note:**

> A series of short ficlets, each inspired by a prompt word or phrase. This will contain some spoilers for season 9, but it will venture out of canon and should be considered AU. For this story, Benny never died and never went back to Purgatory. I am -- to be quite blunt -- very unhappy with the plot and canon of season nine. In particular I am unhappy with Dean's character and the way he is treating everyone who isn't Sam. So I began to wonder about a story in which Cas and Benny find each other again, and reconnect. These ficlets will be short scenes and snippets that connect together to paint a bigger picture of Cas and Benny coming together.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benny had been driving in the darkness for a long damn time.

Benny had been driving in the darkness for a long damn time.

 

He had thought about looking up Dean again, but… well, some stones are better left unturned. Truth was, as much as he liked Dean, sometimes that man was just better left unto himself. He didn’t blame him -- it wasn’t that. But Benny knew that if Dean had to make a choice, then it was always gonna be about Sam, no matter who else got caught in the crossfire.

 

Even if Dean himself got caught.

 

That was just Dean’s way. Benny could fault him for it, but he wasn’t going to. Enough blame had been thrown around for more than one lifetime and he wasn’t going to add to it. He had enough of his own load to haul.

 

But damn if being alone didn’t get to him sometimes.

 

Benny wasn’t a wanderer by nature; that didn’t happen until after the turn. He had always liked being at home, having a place he knew he could come back to and people who would take him in. But he hadn’t had that in such a long time that he’d forgotten what it was like.

 

His old coven had taught him the ways of the sea, and he had learned to love the water. The waves were gentle most of the time and the closest thing he could get to being rocked again in a mother’s arms; not like the road at all which felt like bumpy hell under the tires and worn shocks of his old truck.

 

But he had to travel, in the dark, in the shade, because if he ventured out into the day then someone might see him for the homeless, toothy creature he really was. He couldn’t risk that. He would pick up jobs here and there, make a bit of cash, thin out the rat or stray dog population in town, and then he’d move on. He never tried to make friends, make roots; it just hurt too much when he had to rip them back up again. He could never risk raising anyone’s suspicion.

 

He’d seen the news several months back about the freak meteor shower and he knew something big had gone down. He also knew it meant there would be bad fallout. Rumors and whispers started flowing, swirling around and crashing like the tide: angels. The angels had fallen.

 

Benny didn’t know what that meant, but he knew blood was being spilled, people were being possessed, and it was time to hit the road once again. So he had packed up what little he owned into the camper and set out with no destination, just knowing he had to get away.

  
He never, never expected to pull into a Gas and Sip station in the middle of Iowa and catch a familiar scent rising on the air, like the first breaking light of the coming dawn.


	2. Introduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing should surprise Cas anymore

Nothing should surprise Cas anymore. He’s been living as a human for seven months now, and working at the Gas and Sip has allowed him to experience nearly everything that humanity has to offer.

 

Mrs. Beatrum comes in every other day and buys a pack of Lucky Strike cigarettes. Cas wishes she wouldn’t, though, because she seems like a very nice lady and he has learned that cigarettes are very bad for human health. He has vowed never to smoke. He wonders what would become of Mr. Beatrum if Mrs. Beatrum should someday succumb to lung cancer. He imagines Mr. Beatrum would be devastated to lose his wife, and the thought makes Cas sad, but he has to smile and hand over her cigarettes and change without comment.

 

He has learned the hard way that humans do not like to be reminded of their faults or failures, and especially of their mortality.

 

Except for a small subset of people who apparently do. Corey is another regular customer who comes in everyday after school to buy soda. His hair is long and usually looks unwashed. His hands and knuckles are almost always bruised and split open. One time Cas had made the mistake of suggesting he purchase some medical supplies for his hands, and Corey had turned dark, empty eyes upon him and asked, “What makes you think I want to get better?”

 

Cas learned not to really talk to the customers past a perfunctory greeting after that.  

 

He knows people mostly on a surface level, but Nora and Bill have become good friends. Nora is kind and smart, patient; she is observant and always seems to know when Cas is floundering and needs help. Bill is quieter but pleasant, funny when in the right mood. He works at the Gas and Sip as a side job, in addition to going to college full time, to help support his aging father, so his time and his mind are often occupied. Cas respects that and tries not to bother him often, but he knows that Bill appreciates it anytime Cas gives him an encouraging word or smile.

 

Cas has learned to adore little Tanya and he babysits her often. She is sweet, babbling, and she reminds him of all the potential good in the world. He wants great things for that baby. He wants her to be healthy and happy, and to grow up to be so loved. He hopes he will able to witness her successes, to cheer her on. The day that Nora first referred to him as Uncle Steve was when he finally understood why humans cry when they’re happy.

 

Cas does not have a family, exactly, not anymore. But he has friends, people he cares about and who care about him. He has witnessed kindness and harshness; he’s seen strangers work together to help freel a young man trapped in his smashed car when an automobile accident occurred on the corner, and he has seen an old drunk become belligerent and beat his daughter in the parking lot. He has seen good, and bad, and indifferent, and all in such a short period time.

 

There is always so much to see, so much to experience about humanity -- nothing should surprise him anymore.

  
But he is utterly floored the day that a big, burly vampire in a pageboy cap and a pea coat strolls up to his counter and orders a set of hotwings.


	3. Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Be quiet. You have to be quiet. We’re not supposed to be here.”

“Be quiet. You have to be quiet,” Cas reminded him. “We’re not supposed to be here.”

 

“I get that Hot Wings! Will you stop worrying?”

 

“Stop calling me that!” Cas hissed angrily. He flicked on the small flashlight and plopped down on the sleeping bag on the floor.

 

Benny looked around at the small space. “What, here?”

 

“Yes here. You came to me, remember?”

 

Benny sat down. “So this is where you live? In the back of the store?”

 

Cas twisted the hem of his work vest nervously in his fingers. “I don’t have anywhere else to stay,” he answered quietly.

 

“But you said you’ve been working here for several months. Couldn’t you get an apartment?”

 

“Not by myself. I still couldn’t afford that. And I don’t know anyone else I could live with.”

 

“What about…” Benny chewed on his bottom lip, hating himself for having to ask, but having to ask all the same.

 

“What about Dean?” Cas supplied, his eyes large and sad in the megre illumination from the flashlight. “He said that so long as I was being targeted by the other angels then I was too much of a danger to Sam. Sam is still recovering from the trials.”

 

“Bullshit!”

 

“Benny…”

 

“No, Cas, that’s some bullshit and you know it!” Benny exclaimed, growing agitated. “There’s more going on there, something he ain’t telling you.”

 

“Yes, I figure there is. But what could I do about it? I couldn’t stay there, so I had to go somewhere. I found here.”

 

Benny sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. This seemed so wrong, but Hotwings -- Cas (Steve? Benny didn’t even know anymore.) -- was right. What could he do about it? Dean was always going to be about Sam. It was all utterly unfair, but that was the way of it. “So you’re completely human now?”

“Yes.” Cas answered definitely, almost challengingly, as if he refused to be ashamed.

 

Benny couldn’t help but be a little proud of him for that. “Well, believe me,” he answered, “there are worse things to be.”

 

The fight seemed to leave Cas after that and he let out a hard breath. They were quiet for a few moments, just sitting together in the mostly dark storage room before Cas decided to speak again. “Where have you been?”

 

“Oh, around,” Benny replied, nonchalant. “Kind of everywhere really. I don’t stay in any one place for too long.”

 

“Will you be staying here?” Cas asked with a curious tightness.

 

“Yeah, sure. For a little while anyway. This is as good a place as any. I can find some woods, or a lake, somewhere to park my truck. Might as well be here for a while.”

 

“Okay then.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“It’s… good to see you Benny.”

 

“You too Hotwin --er, Cas. Uh? Steve?” Benny floundered. “What the hell am I s’posed to call you, man?”

 

The ex-sereph chuckled faintly. “Cas is fine. Just be sure to call me Steve when I’m at work. I have to keep up appearances. You know how that is.”

 

“Yeah, I know.”

 

~*~

  
Benny left after a few more minutes of idle chat. Cas had work the next day and he needed to get to sleep, and Benny still needed to look for a place to park his camper. And if both of them rested just a tiny bit easier that night, neither of them were willing to dwell too much on why.


	4. Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas did not see Benny again for three days.

Cas did not see Benny again for three days, and he wondered if, perhaps, the vampire had just moved on. The thought made him a little uneasy.

 

He and Benny had never been friends; in fact, most of the time, they hadn’t even managed to be cordial to each other. He and Benny had been downright antagonistic when they were stuck together in Purgatory with Dean. At the time, Cas had felt conflicted about that because he knew it put a strain on Dean. Now, Cas just felt disconnected with it all, about Purgatory as a whole, as if it had happened years and years ago.

 

He really was becoming quite adept at human coping mechanisms, and nothing was more human than emotional suppression. Besides, so much had happened since then.

 

He couldn’t really expect Benny to hang around, and why should he? They didn’t have anything in common except a bit of shared time and strife, and one common friend -- if that friend could even be considered common anymore. Benny had not mentioned a word about Dean and Cas had not asked.

 

Cas didn’t think he wanted to know.

 

When it came down to it, Cas really knew very little about Benny. He knew that he had been human once, of course, and that he had been turned into a vampire against his will and eventually killed. He knew Benny had, at one time, been a vicious killer, but had renounced his violent ways and now refused to take a human life in order to sustain his own. Cas could only guess that Benny’s change of heart must have left him cast out into the world alone, probably hunted by his own kind for his actions.

 

That thought gave Cas pause. Perhaps the two of them did have something more in common after all.

 

Cas placed the last bottle of Coke on the shelf where he had been stocking, then picked up the empty pallet and turned to his boss. “Nora, I’m going to go on my break now.”

 

“Oh, sure thing. Go rest for a few minutes Steve.”

 

Cas smiled politely and ducked his head. Even after these many months, the fake name still didn’t set right in his ears, but he knew it was necessary to keep himself hidden. “I’m going to take this out back for pick up, then I’ll be in the break room.”

 

Cas tucked the pallet under his arm and walked to the back door of the store. The delivery company would come by in the morning to retrieve their empty pallets from the back driveway and leave them with new inventory.

But just as he pushed open the back door, his heart caught in his chest and he stumbled over none other than Benny.

 

“Hi Cas.”

 

“Benny!” Cas yelped, startled. He fumbled to catch the falling pallet.

 

“Whoa, easy there. It’s just me.” Benny chuckled and helped steady Cas with a quick hand to his elbow. “Just thought I’d say hi.”

 

“What are you doing here? I thought you were gone.”

 

“Gone?”

 

“Well, yeah,” Cas grumbled, finally stacking his pallet neatly on the ground. “You’ve been gone for three days. I figured you just decided leave.”

 

“No.” Benny smiled bright and wide. “The opposite, in fact. I’ve been looking for a place to stay. Finally found a road, runs down by an old creek west of town. Seems deserted enough. Figured I could park there for a while.”

 

“Oh…” Cas breathed, surprised. Benny had decided to stay, at least for a while. That meant Cas would be seeing him; he would be coming to the store and they would be talking from time to time. There would be someone in town that Cas knew; someone who knew him, even if just a little. It had been so long since anyone knew him.

 

“Hey?

 

“Hum?”

 

“Hey! Cas!” Benny called out, then strong fingers gripped Cas’ elbow again, shaking him lightly, and he finally looked back up at Benny's furrowed brow.

 

“You went wool gathering for a minute there. What happened?” Benny asked, a little gruff but not unkindly. His fingers let go of Cas’ elbow.

 

“Nothing really,” Cas answered. Benny was staying. And it was good. It could be really good. “I’m glad you’re staying,” he told him. And then Cas smiled perhaps the first true smile he’d had in weeks. “You know, that’s the first time anyone’s said my real name all day.”


	5. Drive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benny knew what it was like to be hungry, in every sense of the word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the wait. I'm hoping to get the next chapter out quicker. Enjoy! :)

Benny didn’t know what had prompted his little trip to the market.

 

No.

 

No, that was a lie and Benny hated lying. He knew exactly what had prompted it -- Cas’ growling gut.

 

Benny had decided to see Cas at work. He hadn’t seen him for a few days and he wanted to check in with him, see how he was doing. He didn’t like to admit it, but in less than a week the little bird had crawled right under his skin.

 

He had surprised Cas by the back door and they had chatted for a few minutes during the ex-angel’s break, but just before Cas had to go back to work his stomach gave an enormous growl. Benny had looked at him startled, and Cas had looked embarrassed. Benny questioned if Cas had eaten that day and Cas swore he had, but it had been several hours. Benny made him promise to grab a candy bar or something and then watched as the little bird dashed back off to finish his shift.

 

Benny had been ill at ease ever since. Which is, he’s guessing, why he was now standing in the middle of the nearest grocery store looking at the different pasta and sauce varieties. He hadn’t fully decided that he was going to pick Cas up after work and drive him down to the little spot by the creek that he had designated as his own and cook him dinner, not completely.

 

But yeah, that was exactly what he was gonna do.

 

Benny knew what it was like to be hungry, in every sense of the word. He knew what it was like to feel your gut bubble and claw, and try to cave in on itself because it’s so empty.

 

When he decided to stop running with the rest of the pirates he nearly died. He knew he could never bring himself to feed on a living human again, but he hadn’t wanted to feed at all, and so he had nearly starved, all alone and completely miserable. At the time he thought it just punishment for all the wrong and the hurt he had caused in the world. But even if his heart could no longer be filled, he knew eventually his stomach had to be. He tried eating regular food, and found he still loved a lot of it, but it would never fill him. Gumbo tasted amazing, but it would never take away the gnawing hunger in his gut.

 

He wasn’t making gumbo, not today, there wasn’t enough time. But he could make spaghetti and meatballs, maybe even a few pieces of garlic toast; that would cure Cas’ hunger. Benny wasn’t hungry now, he had eaten what he needed just yesterday, but he liked spaghetti and would gladly eat some with Cas.

 

And for once he wouldn’t have to be eating alone.

 

He pulled a box of pasta and a jar of sauce down off the store shelf and put them into his basket.

 

~~*~~

  
  


Benny knocked on the door just as Nora was locking it up for the evening.

 

“I’m sorry Sir, but we’re closed.”

 

“Yeah, um, I’m actually supposed to pick up Steve,” Benny answered. “Is he still in back?”

 

“Oh?” Nora asked, and she gave him the once over. “He never said anything about someone coming to pick him up.”

 

Benny smiled and did his best to act unassuming. He had the distinct impression he was being judged but he wasn’t sure why. “Yeah, I spoke with him earlier today but I didn’t tell him I was coming back. I, uh, I decided to surprise him.”

 

Nora looked out the window, past Benny, to his truck and camper parked out front. “You don’t happen to drive a big, shiny black car, do you?”

 

“What?”

 

Nora shook it off. “Nothing. Just a little different from the last guy who decided to drop in on Steve unexpectedly.”

 

Benny understood then why Nora was sizing him up, and he had to remind himself not to clench his jaw. Really, he couldn’t blame her reaction, and in a way he was glad Cas had someone looking out for him. “Is Steve still here? I just wanted to see him. I don’t mean to be a bother.”

 

“Yeah, he’s in th--”

 

“Benny?”

 

“Oh, heya.”

 

Cas walked out from behind a shelf, folding his blue work vest. “Nora, the back is locked up. I’m done.”

 

“Ok. I was just about to come get you. Your friend is here to pick you up.”

 

Cas came to stand before Benny, eyeing him curiously. “Pick me up?”

 

“Yeah, if you want,” Benny answered, still fully aware of Nora’s scrutiny. “I, uh, thought you might wanna see where I’m staying.”

 

“Oh,” Cas answered, perking up with interest. “Yes, that would be fine.”

 

“Thought we might eat too.” Benny couldn’t quite bring himself to say that he was planning to cook dinner for Cas, not in front of Nora. The look on her face had already melted from suspicion into something far too sweet and knowing for his liking. Still, he guessed he passed her test now.

 

Cas, clearly remembering their conversation from earlier in the day, smiled far too gratefully for Benny to bear, and all the vampire could do was turn away from that little bird’s face, hold open the front door and say, “Come on, then, let’s go take a drive.”  

 


	6. Food

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It’s not poison or anything, I promise. C’mon man.”

“It’s not poison or anything, I promise. C’mon man.”

 

“No,” Cas rushed to reassure him. “It’s just, well, I didn’t know you ate, Benny.”

 

“You mean you didn’t know I ate people food.”

 

“Well, yes,” Cas answered honestly. He looked down at the plate of spaghetti. It looked very good, but he had to admit, he was quite surprised to learn that Benny could cook. The idea had just never occurred to him.

 

“I like it well enough. And I’m actually a good cook. Most of the day jobs I manage to score are slinging hash at little diners. You do remember I used to be human, right?” Benny tucked a napkin into the neck of his white tee shirt and picked up his fork.

 

“You’re a cook?”

 

“Most of the time. Sometimes I find other jobs. Now eat. You need it.”

 

Cas picked up his own fork and stuck it in the spaghetti, trying to mimic what Benny was doing. He may have been human for several months now, but he knew he still lacked a lot of the common knowledge and mannerisms that most people simply grew up knowing and taking for granted. And even though Benny was no longer human, he knew Benny once had been, and he had been alive for a long time. Cas was hoping to learn from him.

 

Benny laughed gently. “No, not quite. You need to twirl your fork, like this.” He reached over and placed his hand around Cas’, guiding it around and around until the fork held the noodles in a tightly wrapped ball.

 

Benny squeezed his hand a bit before pulling back and coughing nervously. “There ya go. Now give it a taste already.” If Cas didn’t know better, he’d think Benny was a bit anxious about him trying his cooking.

 

He brought the forkful up to his mouth and took his first bite, letting the flavors wash over his tongue. It was terrific, tomato and garlic, tangy and savory. Benny was right, he was a good cook. Cas quickly finished chewing and smiled brightly. “Benny this is great!”

 

Benny gave an irrepressible grin. “See! I told ya!” He began to dig in to his own plate.

 

“This is so much better than anything at the store.”

 

“Is that all you’ve been eating? Just stuff at the store?”

 

“Mostly. I try to stick to the healthier stuff. Sometimes I like to go and get a burger. But my choices are pretty limited. I don’t have anywhere to cook, and even if I did, I don’t know how.”

 

Now that Cas thought on it, this was the first home-cooked meal anyone had ever made for him. And Benny had made it. For him. Because he hadn’t liked the idea that Cas had been hungry earlier in the day. The thought was heart-warming and made Cas smile gently.

 

“What?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“What are you grinning about?”

 

“Oh,” Cas felt his cheeks heat with a blush, a still unfamiliar sensation and one he didn’t like. “It’s just… thanks. Um… thank you for this Benny. You didn’t have to do this and I appreciate it. No one has ever cooked for me before. And this is excellent. I love the spaghetti.”

 

“Oh, don’t get all mushy on me little bird. This ain’t nothing.”

 

“It is if you’ve never had it before.”

 

Benny looked up at him then, carefully, as if he were studying him, then he gave a small and self-deprecating smile. He nodded. “Well, you’re welcome.”

 

They continued to eat in companionable silence for a few comfortable moments before Benny dared to break the quiet again, his soft voice rising but his eyes not quite daring to do the same. “It’s nice not having to eat alone too, you know.”

  
“Yeah,” Cas said, thinking of the work that went into the meal, Benny’s grin, and the warmth of his hand wrapped around his own while trying to teach him how to twirl a fork. “I do know.”


	7. Advertisement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas never would have thought he would appreciate a vampire.

Cas never would have thought he would appreciate a vampire. Vampires were monsters, cruel and cunning; their only goal was to further their own agenda by taking the lives of others.

 

Vampires reminded Cas of angels in many ways.

 

But Benny was different. He was a vampire, yes, and nothing would change that. But he was not a monster at all. Monsters don’t cook spaghetti for you. Monsters don’t drop by to see you at work.

 

Everyday.

 

Benny had been by the store to see Cas every day since the night they ate spaghetti together. And Cas was always glad to see him. Cas was happy to have someone in town who actually knew him as Cas and not Steve, someone who shared a bit of history with him, even if it wasn’t necessarily good history. It was good to have a real connection to someone.

 

Nora and Bill had warmed up to Benny as well and were now used to seeing him around. Cas was glad for that because he knew how difficult it must be for Benny to find a truly friendly face while always being on the move. Cas didn’t want Benny to move on so quickly. He knew, of course, that eventually Benny would move on. Benny had already told him that. He didn’t like to stay in any one place for too long; he said that, after a while, he just got restless.

 

Cas didn’t want Benny to feel restless; he wanted Benny to have a sense of purpose, connection, even if it was only for a while.

 

“Hey Steve, here’s that newspaper.” Bill handed over a badly folded copy of yesterday’s paper. Cas accepted it gratefully. “What were you looking for again?”

 

“I saw an ad for a new diner in town. I wanted to see it again.”

 

“You mean _Betty’s Homestyle_?

 

“Yeah, I think that’s it.”

 

“I think it’s on page nine. Why?” Bill chuckled. “You looking to leave us for a place behind the grill?”

 

“No, but I think Benny would be good at this. He’s a good cook.”

 

“Benny huh?”

 

“Yes, he’s a good cook, and I think it would be good for him to have a job.” Cas found the advertisement and circled it with a red marker.

 

 

“Is that all you think?” Bill questioned, his voice amused.

 

Cas lifted his head, confused. “What?”

 

Bill grinned and Cas felt a little uneasy, not knowing what the joke was supposed to be.

 

“Nothing,” Bill answered. “If Benny’s gonna get his application in there, tell him to do it fast. They’re opening up in just a couple of weeks.

 

The bell over the door chimed and Benny walked in; he looked around, craning his head, clearly looking for Cas. “Well,” Bill laughed again. “Speak of the Devil.”

 

“Benny is not the Devil!” Cas huffed, fixing Bill with a cold stare.

 

Bill’s eyes widened. He held his hands up in mock surrender. “It’s just a figure of speech, man. That’s all.”

 

Cas deflated. “Oh, yes, uh… Sorry.” He had learned so much since becoming human, but he hated the fact that he still missed so many of the smaller nuances and innuendos. He hated the fact that he often didn’t have context for jokes or references to pop culture. It was something he knew he needed to work on.

 

“Anyway,” Bill continued. “I’ll leave you to it then. I hope he gets the job if he wants it.”

 

Benny, having found Cas, sauntered over and greeted the men. “Heya guys.”

 

“Afternoon Benny. See ya later Steve.”

 

“Bye,” Cas replied, a bit dazed, as he watched Bill, who was still chuckling, walk away.

 

“What’s his deal? Two of ya have a spat or somethin’?”

 

“No,”Cas answered, a little frazzled and bewildered by the whole exchange. “I’m not sure what he found humorous.”

 

Benny looked at Cas for a moment, watching him look out the window, puzzled. “Ca -- ah! Steve? You ok?”

  
“Yeah.” Cas brought his eyes back to focus on Benny. He didn’t have time to wonder about Bill or a joke he didn’t understand right now; he had other things to do. He shook out the newspaper and turned it around to face Benny. He smiled. “I have something I want to show you.”


	8. Expectations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benny was nervous and he felt stupid about being nervous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FINALLY HAVE ANOTHER CHAPTER! I'm so sorry it's been so long. Life is stupid and busy and I apologize profusely! But I swear I haven't forgotten this. I love Cas and Benny and I want to see them happy. I'm going to try my best to update more often. 
> 
> And Betty is very much inspired by my Mom, who was indeed, a Betty, and could wield a frying pan with the best of them!

Benny was nervous and he felt stupid about being nervous.

 

It wasn’t as if he hadn’t interviewed for jobs before. He knew the drill: show up, talk for a bit, maybe sling some grease on the grill if the interview went well, and wait for a call back. It wasn’t new to him, he had been running this game for years, long before he was sent to Purgatory.

 

Only now it didn’t feel so much like a game anymore.

 

It didn’t feel simple or easy like it used to. It was only an interview; he shouldn’t be so nervous. If he got the job it meant getting up in the mornings and tying an apron around his waist. He could do that, of course he could. 

 

If he got the job. If this Betty person ever even showed up; she was running late.

 

He had no expectations about this interview. If it went well, it went well. Usually that kind of thing made no difference to him. If this one didn’t work out then the next one would, and if the next one didn’t, well… then he could just skip on to the next town. Except he wasn’t sure he really wanted to skip on to the next town right now. Things were good here and he knew better than to blow off a good thing. 

 

He didn’t want to blow off Cas, and that was it in a nutshell. Little bird had been so excited when he showed him the newspaper, the want ad circled in red, so proud that he had found something that could maybe be of help to Benny. Cas had expectations; he wanted Benny to be excited about the possibility of a job. 

 

Truth was, Benny hadn’t even been thinking about a job. He had been fine just spending time down at the little creek where he parked his trailer. He spent most of his nights hunting for small game in the woods or bathing in the creek, and every day he would come into town to see Cas at the store and explore a bit. It was good. He liked it. He didn’t want for anything right now and that was rare; he should know better than to rock the boat.

 

But Cas had looked so damn eager and hopeful. So Benny had taken the newspaper and his best, clean outfit, and now here he was, application in hand and waiting to be interviewed by this Betty person.

 

Betty was fifteen minutes late.

 

Benny had no expectations, but he was still damn nervous.

 

Suddenly there was a loud crash and a commotion from the direction of the kitchen and Benny startled. He realized then, just how nervous and distracted he must really be because normally he would have picked up on the fact that other people were in the building with him long before now; he would have caught their scent. He would have caught the scent of distress. 

The clatter was immediately followed by the raised, angry voice of an older woman, cussing like a sailor. “You damned, drugged out fool! I told you not to come back here! We’re not even open yet.”

 

Benny rose from his seat and crept up to the serving counter to peak into the kitchen window. He didn’t want to intrude, but if someone needed help…

 

“I will beat you in the head with this frying pan, so help me God! Get out of my restaurant Landon!”

 

“But Mom!”

 

“GET OUT!”

 

Benny watched, transfixed and a little awed, through the kitchen window as (presumably) Betty of Betty’s Homespun took a swing at (again presumably) her son Landon with a cast iron skillet. Landon just escaped with the side of his head intact. The boy was smart enough to finally turn and run away after that.

 

“DO NOT COME SNOOPING THROUGH HERE AGAIN!” 

 

Finally the woman lowered the frying pan and turned to the window and Benny. Benny had to resist the urge to duck down behind the counter. “Um, sorry to intrude.”

 

“You were supposed to be my three o’clock interview?” the woman asked.

 

“Y… yes.”

 

“Then you’re not intruding. I’ve kept you waiting and I apologize. My name is Betty.”

 

“I’m Benny.”

 

Betty disappeared momentarily as she walked away from the window, around to the kitchen’s side door, and up to the front of the counter so she could greet Benny properly. She was still carrying the frying pan in one hand, but the other she stuck across the counter and offered to him. “Benny. Good to meet you.”

 

Benny shook her hand in a firm grip, still a little dazed. “You too Ma'am. You’re not going to hit me with that, are you?” 

 

Betty laid the pan up on the counter but kept her hand curled around the handle. “That depends. Are you on drugs?”

 

“No Ma’am.”

 

“Are you going to steal from me?”

 

“No Ma’am.”

 

“Well then, I think we’re alright.” Betty cracked a small, rueful grin and pushed the pan away down the counter. “My son Landon, whom you saw briefly, is unfortunately on drugs and does have a habit of trying to steal from me. I get real tired of it. Still, I’m sorry you had to see that on the first day.”

 

“Well,” Benny chuckled, he really kind of liked this woman. She was honest and straightforward. And obviously she took no one’s crap. He could appreciate that. “Some things a person just can’t help.”

 

“I’d still like to keep that interview, if you’re still interested in talking about the job.” 

 

And the funny thing was, he actually was interested. His nerves were all but gone. He came into this with no expectations, but he was leaving it with anticipation. Whether he got the job or not, he couldn’t wait to get back to Cas and tell him what he had seen here; he even wanted to tell Bill and Nora about it. It was all just too funny not to tell. And maybe now they would all have a new place where they could go and grab lunch, at least from time to time; and if Benny was the one serving lunch, well then, all the better. Betty seemed like someone worth seeing everyday, someone worth talking about; and Cas, and Bill, and Nora were worth telling the stories to.

 

“Yes Ma’am,” Benny answered. “Yes, I am.”

 


	9. Stripes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Betty, that’s horrible.”
> 
> “It’s festive.”
> 
> “It’s lurid.”
> 
> “Don’t sass me, boy!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I loved the character of Betty! It's official! There's going to be a lot of her. I think I'm going to love the interaction she has with all the characters, but especially with Benny. No Cas in this chapter directly, but he's definitely mentioned. This is a short one, but I'm so glad to be moving along on this again. Feels good. Enjoy!

“Betty, that’s horrible.”

 

“It’s festive.”

 

“It’s lurid.”

 

“Don’t sass me, boy!”

 

Benny ducked as Betty half-heartedly took a swipe at the back of his head. Gripping one end of the terrible banner, he started up the ladder to hang it. Best to be up in the air where she couldn’t reach him before she decided to come after him with some kind of kitchen implement. He’d only known Betty for a couple of weeks but in that time she had already made more threats of physical violence than any other person he had ever known.

 

Benny liked Betty a lot. 

 

“It’s got stripes going in both directions. It doesn’t match.”

 

“I didn’t hire you to be a decorating consultant. I hired you to cook.”

 

“Then why have I been hauling boxes and climbing ladders for you all day?” Benny countered.

 

“Because I’m giving you beer and a pan of brownies to take home. Also you love my charming company!”

 

Benny laughed out loud. He could cook a lot of things but for whatever reason he had never mastered the fine art of brownie making. Betty made some of the best brownies this side of the Mississippi and she wasn’t above using them to get her way. The beer was a bonus. The company all day was a big bonus. He could share some of the beer and brownies with Cas down at the creek later. He didn’t know if Cas had ever tried brownies before; he had certainly never tried Betty’s brownies at any rate.

 

“Well, be that as it may, Miss Betty,” Benny snickered. He was gonna get hit for this and it was hilarious. “Doesn’t change the fact that this banner is hideous.”

 

“It’s  festive !” she reiterated. “And you’re dropping the side there; pick it up!”

 

“It’s neon stripes! It’s neon stripes going in opposite directions!” But Benny did as he was told; he tightened the ropes and pulled the right side higher. The hideously bright banner hung perfectly over the front door, declaring Betty’s Homespun open for business. They would have their grand opening on Monday morning.

 

He climbed back down off the ladder and Betty immediately punched him hard in the arm. “What I tell you about sassing me, boy?”

 

Benny winced and rubbed his arm, and smiled like an idiot. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so proud. They looked at the banner above the door. It looked ridiculous and they both knew it, but it was certainly eye catching.

 

Monday was going to be crazy. Cas, Nora, and Bill had all promised to be here for the grand opening. Benny’s spaghetti, complete with homemade sauce and garlic bread, was going to be featured as the special. There was still so much to do: tables to set up; dishes to put out; bread to bake. They were going to be so busy.

  
They couldn’t wait.


	10. Solace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He needed peace and solace. And he needed a place to sleep for the weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, Cas and Benny together again in this one. And from Cas' POV this time. This one is a little more solemn, and actually deals a bit with Dean and Sam. But by the end it's all on an even keel again. And so is Cas. :)

Cas’ phone went off for the fourth time in two hours.

 

Another text message from Dean.

 

It wasn’t that Cas didn’t want to know how Dean was doing. He wanted Dean and his brother Sam to be well, it’s just that Cas couldn’t deal with them right now. There was still too much pain there, and it was still far too raw, the wound still too new. Perhaps he did owe Dean and Sam loyalty, but didn’t they owe him the same?

 

Perhaps it wasn’t about owing. Perhaps it was about wanting.

 

Cas had wanted for Dean and Sam to want him there. And they hadn’t. There was more going on than what he was being told, Cas was sure of that, because there was always more going on. But he was just so tired of all the lies and subterfuge between them; that had never gotten them anywhere, had never brought them anything except pain and misery. It was time for it all to stop.

 

_I am fine Dean. I just do not wish to talk to you at this time. I hope you understand._

Chances are Dean would not understand, but he would have to respect Cas’ wishes. If this was to be Cas’ life now -- his human life -- then he would do his best to live it as he saw fit. And right now he needed distance from Dean and Sam.

 

He needed peace and solace. And he needed a place to sleep for the weekend.

 

Usually he was able to arrange it so he worked weekends, which meant he could close the store every night and then just retire to his secret store room to sleep. But if he wasn’t working he couldn’t close the store, and he couldn’t risk having his secret sleeping place found. It was terribly inconvenient, but he could manage finding another space when he had to. He didn’t want Nora and Bill to worry, and he definitely didn’t want to lose his job.

 

Cas hated having to lie so much. He hated lying about his name, where he was from, where he stayed. He hated all the lying. But he couldn’t see any other way. If he told the truth it would put Bill and Nora, maybe baby Tanya, and now even Benny, at risk.

 

And no.

 

No, he would never do that. He would never risk these people.

 

So for now he rolled his few belongings into his sleeping bag, hefted it up onto his shoulder, and started walking. It wasn’t a conscious decision to take the highway that led west out of town. It never even occurred to him where he was going until he hit the place where the blacktop ended and dirt road began running parallel to the creek. By then it was too late to turn back, and he wouldn’t have wanted to anyway.

 

Cas walked for miles and miles. He walked until his head was clear and his legs felt like rubber, until it was dark outside. He should have taken out his flashlight, but somehow the darkness was comforting and calming. The stars were bright and the wind was gentle and smelled like perfumed dust against his face. Nothing in these woods would harm him.

 

In his pocket his phone buzzed. No service. That was alright by him. Cas paused long enough to power the phone off before shoving it back down deep in his pocket.

 

He walked for another two miles, sure his feet were going to fall off, until he finally found the clearing off to the side of the road where Benny’s camper was parked. Benny was sitting on the steps with a cooler on the ground by his feet and a bright lantern by his side.

 

“I could smell you for at least the last mile, you know.”

 

“I’m sweating a lot.”

 

“What in the hell possessed you?”

 

Cas started. “I am not possessed. If you need to test me…”

 

Benny rolled his eyes and rose to his feet. He began to amble over. “I mean, what possessed you to walk all the way out here when you could have just called me for a ride?”

 

“Oh. Well, there’s no cell phone service out here. I couldn’t call.”

 

“Uh huh.” Benny picked up a beer out of the cooler, twisted the cap open and handed it to Cas, who took it gratefully. He then took a beer for himself. “And you do remember that I work in town now, right? I was right there. You could have called me sometime while you did have cell service.”

 

Cas took a convenient swallow of his beer and held it for a moment while he thought of his answer.

 

Benny just continued to stare at him, waiting patiently.

 

“I thought the walk would clear my head.”

 

“What does your head need clearing from?”

 

“Stuff.”

 

 

“What stuff?”

 

“You’re asking a lot of questions Benny.”

 

“You show up at my doorstep in the middle of the night, carrying a sleeping role, and some bloody stumps for feet. I have the right to some questions.”

 

Cas sighed and resisted the urge to throw his beer bottle. “I didn’t mean to come here. I don’t know how I ended up here. I just started walking and this is where I ended up. I need some place to sleep for the weekend where I don’t have to keep looking at Dean’s damn text messages!”

 

“Ah hell, Cas.” Benny looked at him, his eyes gentled as understanding washed over him.

 

Cas could feel himself blushing under the scrutiny, embarrassed to have admitted so much, but in a way still glad to know that someone understood, grateful that at least one person here knew his name and where he was coming from.

 

Benny took Cas by the elbow and carefully led him over to the creek. “Take off your shoes and sit down. Put your feet in the water. They gotta be hurtin’ like hell.”

 

Cas did as he was told, glad for the instruction and simple touch to his arm. He hissed when the cold creek water stung his bare feet, but soon the chill seeped into his worn skin and began to carry some of the soreness away.

 

Benny walked back over to the cooler and gathered more beer and some sandwiches before coming back to sit beside him on bank. “Ya know damn well you got a place to sleep if you need it.”

 

“I know. Thank you Benny.”

 

“Don’t you thank me for that. Here, eat this.” Benny held up a sandwich.

 

“I’m not really hungry.”

 

“Eat it anyway.”

 

Cas huffed, trying not to laugh, because Benny fixed everything with food. He took the sandwich. “My head’s better now even if my feet hurt.”

 

“Guess that’s all that matters then, ain’t it?”

 

Cas tilted his head up and peered at the stars through the canopy. Beside him Benny took a swallow of beer and tossed a rock into the stream; they watched it plop down to the bottom and send out ripples in the water. All around them it was peaceful but not exactly quiet, the woods were alive with crickets and night birds, and wind rustling through leaves. It wasn’t lonely. Nothing in these woods would harm them.

 

“Yes, I guess it is.”


	11. Teamwork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So your truck’s broken down?”
> 
> “Yeah, just for a day or two, Benny explained. “Shouldn’t be a big deal. I’ll get it fixed.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S BEEN SO LONG AND I'M SO SORRY!!! Long story short: my life fell apart and I was too busy trying not to kill myself to write. Not to be dramatic but... yeah. Truth. Anyway, I'm trying to get back into it. It's not been easy, but I swear to everyone following this, I WILL NEVER ABANDON THIS STORY! I'm still working on it, I swear!

“So your truck’s broken down?”

“Yeah, just for a day or two, Benny explained. “Shouldn’t be a big deal. I’ll get it fixed.”

“Seemed fine yesterday.”

Benny scratched at the back of his neck. “Yeah, well, it’s old. You know how an old vehicle can be.”

Betty nodded slowly. “Uh huh. Got one of those myself.” She patted the dash of her old Ford fondly. They were currently doing 60 miles an hour down a bumpy, old dirt road. “‘Course, it helps if you take care of them properly.”

Benny whipped his head around, affronted. “I take care of my truck!”

“Yep, I know you do. Which is why I know there was nothing wrong with it yesterday.”

This was quickly becoming an uncomfortable conversation. “Betty what are you… if you didn’t want to come get me all you had to do was say so. I could have walked.”

“I never said I didn’t want to come get you, Ben. You know that.” Betty made a fast, sharp corner. Just like with everything, Betty drove hard. “I’m just saying, I’d like to know why you really needed a ride.”

“My truck’s broken,” Benny huffed. If vampires could sweat, Benny knew he’d be dripping right now.

“Or maybe you didn’t want to wake that nice boy up after he walked all the way out to your place last night.”

Oh.

Ah hell.

“Betty, look, it’s just…”

“No, no.” Betty cut him off. “It’s your own business, Ben, really it is. But I have told you -- and I mean this, boy -- I don’t like being lied to. What you and Steve are doing is between the two of you. Just don’t tell me that you’re truck’s broken down when I know it isn’t.”

If Benny had the ability to blush his face would be bright red right now. He wanted to squirm in his seat but he knew that would only make it worse. “How did you even know?” he finally asked.

“I was heading home myself last night and saw him walking out west of town, carrying a bag with him. I know you stay out west of town, and I know how close you two are, so I put two and two together.”

“It’s not like that, Betty. Steve… he just needed a place to go last night. I didn’t know he was coming until he just showed up. I couldn’t very well turn him away.”

Finally they pulled up to the diner. It was still early on a Saturday morning so the rest of the town wasn’t really awake yet. They needed to unlock, start up the coffee and heat up the grill. The town would rouse soon and want food.

Betty unlocked the door and turned on the lights. Benny followed her into the kitchen and silently reached for his apron, grateful the conversation seemed to be over. For a few minutes they were quiet, focused on readying the kitchen and dining room for the breakfast rush. Betty stacked plates and silverware while Benny rolled out dough for biscuits and gravy.

Benny and Betty were an efficient team. Benny had worked a lot of greasy spoons over the years, slung a lot of hash, but he liked Betty better than just about any boss he’d ever had. They just fit. She knew what she was doing and she trusted Benny to know what he was doing. Benny appreciated that so much. He couldn’t really remember that last time anyone had just trusted him to do the right thing. He knew he owed Betty a lot and he wanted to make her proud.

“I’ve seen him around here a lot, you know,” Betty spoke again softly, thoughtfully.

“Huh?”

“That boy, Steve.”

“Oh, yeah, he’s here quite a bit.”

“But only ever when you are.”

Benny absentmindedly wiped a streak of flour across his apron. “What do you mean?”

“He comes here because you’re here, Ben. Don’t play dumb about that. He was here for the grand opening because it was special for you. He comes by during his lunch breaks so he can see you. He was having a bad time last night, so he went to you.”

Benny could feel a place in his chest ache. It was true; he knew it was true. So why did it hurt to hear?

“He doesn’t know all that many people, is all.”

“Maybe not,” Betty conceded. “But maybe the ones he does know is enough. Maybe he just trusts you.”

Benny made it point not to look up. He couldn’t. That sounded too much like parental approval and he just wasn’t sure how to handle that.

“You have much food in that old truck of yours?”

“A bit. Why?”

Betty shrugged a shoulder. “Just seems like Steve would probably be pretty hungry after a walk like he had last night. Maybe you ought to take him something later. I can take you back to your truck after lunch; you can always bring him back with you.

“I… Y-yeah,” Benny stuttered. “Yeah, I can do that.”

“And tell that boy not to walk that far again,” Betty declared, a rough edge creeping back into her voice, comfortable and familiar, putting both her and Benny back on an even keel. “If he needs a ride, I can take him.” She scowled playfully. “Course it might be easier if you parked your truck a little closer to town, you know. Not like anybody wants to keep you around here or anything!”

“Nah, nobody wants that!” Benny laughed back.

~~*~~

**  
**A week later Benny handed cash over to the man who ran Sleepy Pines Campgrounds. It wasn’t permanent exactly, but it was six miles closer to town and still surrounded by woods. It would do.


	12. Blood and Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas knew he didn’t owe Benny anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not quite as long in between chapters this time. This one doesn't feature Benny directly, but he's spoken of heavily. We learn more about Bill and his father's illness. Cas is branching out, expanding his little family.

Cas knew he didn’t owe Benny anything. 

 

Cas had needed a place to go and a sympathetic ear to listen, and Benny had given him those things. Benny had cooked for him, come to visit him at the store, and had been the only one who really knew who he was in a place full of people who, sadly, he was still forced to hide his true nature from for their own safety. And still, Benny swore Cas didn’t owe him anything.

 

But still, Cas wanted to be able to say thank you, even if in only the smallest way.

 

He didn’t make much money at the Gas n Sip, so he knew he couldn’t afford to buy much of anything, and he couldn’t cook, so fixing a meal was out of the question. 

 

Well,  cooking  a meal was out of the question. But that didn’t mean Benny didn’t still need to eat, which was why Cas had broken into the main supply room in the town’s emergency clinic and makeshift hospital. He had watched Dean and Sam steal medical supplies often enough, and he knew how to use them himself. He could fill a blood bag for Benny from his own arm, maybe even refill it every so often. Benny didn’t have to know it was coming from him.

 

Cas grabbed the needed supplies and shoved them down into his jacket, making sure he had enough so he wouldn’t have to come back again for at least a few weeks. He really hated having to steal from the hospital, they were already small and understaffed, but he really had no choice if he wanted to do this. 

 

After checking to make sure no one was watching, Cas quietly snuck back out the door and started down the hallway, doing his best to blend in with everyone else. The truth was, people never really paid attention, especially in places like this, that’s why it was easy for Dean and Sam, and now himself, to sneak in and just take what they needed. People always focused on themselves, what they needed, their own grief; rarely did anyone focus on others or truly observe what was actually happening around them.

 

Which is why Cas was so surprised when he heard Bill’s voice call out.

 

“Steve?”

 

Cas faltered, and for just a second, panicked. Had he been caught? What had Bill seen? Could he get away? But then reality set in and Cas realized he would have to deal with the situation at hand. He turned around and schooled his featured in what he hoped was neutral expression.

 

“Hello Bill.”

 

“Hey, fancy seeing you here. What’s up?”

 

“Oh, I was just uh… I had some routine blood work done. Nothing to be concerned about,” Cas answered, rather proud of himself for having thought of an excuse so quickly. “What about you? What are you doing here?”

 

“Oh,” Bill hung his head for a moment before answering. “My dad’s here. He comes here twice a week for dialysis. Only now it… well, he’s not doing so good.”

 

Cas felt something inside of him slump. He knew Bill’s father was ill, but he didn’t how serious the man’s illness was because Bill hardly ever talked about it. “Oh, I’m sorry. Is he going to be ok?”

 

“Yeah, sure.” Bill straightened his back, looking Cas in the eyes, trying so hard not to look scared. “We just gotta find a donor, ya know. We need a kidney to match up. It’s hard to come by just the right one, but we’ll find it. He’ll be fine.”

 

Bill sounded so sure, so determined. So terrified. Cas’ human heart broke for him and the potential loss of his father. He almost wished he still believed in prayer. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

 

“No, no, thanks man, but…”

 

“Are you sure?” Cas asked again, positive there was something Bill was hiding, some way he could be of service to his friend.

 

“Well, if you really don’t mind it, you could maybe come visit him tomorrow, just for a little bit,” Bill rushed on. “I can’t be here. I’ve got to go to class;  I have a test. But that means he’s just gonna sit here all alone tomorrow.” 

 

Bill rubbed the back of his neck and sighed, and Cas saw for the first time just how tired and worn down he really looked. Cas knew he worked a full shift yesterday, and had class afterwards, and now he was here with his father. The man was undoubtedly exhausted.

 

“Look, I know you don’t really know him, but I’ve told him about you and Nora, and even Benny, so he kinda knows you, so maybe it wouldn’t be that bad. I just don’t want him to be all alone.” 

 

Cas’ chest panged in sympathy and he immediately agreed. No one should have to be all alone, especially while sick in the hospital. “Bill, I’ll be here. I’ll come tomorrow.”

 

Bill’s eyes lit up with hope. “You sure, Steve? I know I’m asking a lot.”

 

It wasn’t exactly what Cas wanted to do. If he had his druthers, if he were still an angel, he could have simply laid fingers to Bill’s father’s forehead and cured him of his malady. But he couldn’t do that anymore. He couldn’t simply take away hurt and pain with the snap of his fingers. He could, however, help ease a friend’s burden. He could care.

 

“I’ll be here.”

 

~~*~~

 

Cas spent the evening carefully filling a blood bag for Benny, which he hid in the very back of the employee freezer in the break room, under a box of forgotten Lean Cuisine. Then he purchased a small bouquet of flowers from near the front of the store and placed them in a glass of water beside his bed roll so he could take them to Bill’s father tomorrow.

 

He no longer had his powers. He required sleep, required food, he could no longer fly, or heal or cure. But he could do these small things, provide these small kindnesses, blood and flowers. He didn’t owe these people anything nor did he want to be owed in return. His heart broke when he thought of the pain in Bill’s eyes, how scared he must be at the thought of possibly losing his dad, especially after having already lost his mother several years ago; but then he thought of Benny and his rough laugh and Cas couldn’t help but smile. Nora and baby Tanya made him think of innocence and hope; Betty made him wonder what it might be like to have a mother of his own. 

 

There was such a brightness in shared camaraderie, such light and warmth when all the candle flames pulled together. He did not owe these people; they did not owe him. He was not charged with their care -- he had chosen to care about them. 

 

He wondered if that was what family felt like.

 


	13. Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was such a human thing that he could do, such a human experience that he could share...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have not written in this verse in forever. I apologize. But as I have said, I will never abandon it. Actually, I almost died a couple of weeks ago and funny how that kinda gives a person new perspective and invigorates them. So even if it's slow, I will still keep chipping away at this because this series is where my heart lies. I love this verse!

Cas clutched at the flowers in his sweaty hand.

“You’re gonna break the stems on them posies if you don’t ease up.”

“I’m nervous!” Cas hissed.

“I know,” Benny answered. “What I don’t know is why.”

Cas sighed. “Because I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know this man and he doesn’t know me. But I’m supposed to go in there and cheer him up. I don’t know how to do that!”

“You didn’t promise to cheer him up -- you promised to spend time with him because Bill can’t right now. Are you gonna back down from that?”

Cas’ breath caught in his throat. Benny was right. He had promised Bill. He hated feeling so awkward about what he was doing, but on the other hand, he couldn’t imagine how stressed Bill must often feel having to juggle work and school and the responsibilities of caring for his seriously ill father.

Cas realized that, as an angel, he had really never given humans enough credit for all they managed in their daily lives.

“No, of course not.”

Benny grinned. “C’mon then.” He pulled open the door to Ray Edan’s hospital room.

A man with kind, observant brown eyes greeted them. “Oh, hey there. You Steve?”

“No sir, I’m Benny. This here’s Steve.” Benny indicated Cas, shoving him forward a bit.

Cas held up the flowers shyly. “I, uh… yes. That’s me. I suppose Bill told you I would be coming. I hope it’s ok that my friend wanted to come with me.” It still felt a little odd to be calling Benny his friend, especially out loud. But Cas was so grateful for it, especially now, when he needed the support of a friend to help do such a task.

“No, no, that’s fine. It’s always nice to see younger folks.”

Benny and Cas nearly choked at Ray’s choice of words. Both of them, of course, were older than Ray could ever dream of being; but to him they looked younger and in the possession of the gift of health.

“But look at you, bringing flowers to an old man. Maybe there’s hope for this generation yet.” Ray laughed gently, seemingly genuinely pleased by the gesture.

“We’ll ask an aid to put them in water before we leave,” Benny said, grinning. Cas and Benny exchanged a secret look, both of them very glad that Cas had thought to buy the flowers.

“So, you’re Steve,” Ray said, turning to look at Cas as best as he could from the hospital bed. He was hooked up to a bunch of machines and tubes that were whirring and pumping and making all manner of noises. Honestly, they were a little scary and Cas couldn’t help but be saddened by the fact that only a few months ago he could have healed this man, but now, no longer. “Bill told me about you. But who are you again, son?”

“I’m Benny. I’m Steve’s friend.”

“Ah. Steve’s friend. Right.” Ray mulled it over, leaving Benny and Cas to squirm uncomfortably for a moment, though neither of them quite knew why. “Seems like Bill has mentioned you once or twice as well. You know, he’s so busy, I’m surprised he remembers his own name, to tell the truth.”

“He does do a lot,” Cas agreed, settling in, feeling more comfortable now that the topic of conversation had changed. “He did some of my training at the store and he’s very knowledgable. What’s he studying in college?”

“Chemistry and biology. Not sure what he wants to do with it, but he’s smart as a damn whip!”

“Lemme guess,” Benny chucked. “He used to blow things up as a kid.”

Ray pointed at Benny, smiling wide. “You know it! Oh, me and his mom used to have to watch him like a hawk. He’d take stuff from his mom’s kitchen and from my garage and experiment all the time. We called the fire department more than once.”

“Well, he’s not blown up anything at the store. He did fix the slushie machine once after I broke it.”

Ray and Benny laughed hard, and for a moment Cas was confused because he hadn’t meant to be funny, he had just been telling the truth. But really, it didn’t matter. Laughter was infectious and it was good to hear the two men laugh. He was glad Ray was still able to find humor because he knew many people in his condition would not be able to so. Ray and Benny deserved laughter and Cas didn’t mind if it came at his expense. He was glad to laugh right along with them.

“Hey, something else Bill was into -- baseball. Either of you fellas watch the games?” Ray asked, reaching for the TV remote.

“I’ve not seen a good game in years,” Benny said, turning towards the TV. “Who’s your team?”

“I was always a Dodgers fan. Just to spite me Bill became a fan of the Yankees.”

“Well, that’s why he blew stuff up as a kid.”

“HA! Yeah, probably. Never got to actually see them play. But we used to go to some local games when we got the chance. I’d love to to do that again. That’s wishful thinking on an old man’s part,” Ray said wistfully.

Again, Cas’ heart ached at the idea that he couldn’t help this sick man. He could sit with him, talk with him, bring him flowers, but he couldn’t HEAL him. It was heartbreaking.

“We should take Bill to a game!”

“What?” Both Benny and Ray peered at him as if he had lost his mind.

Cas blushed. The words had left his mouth before he had even thought about it, but as soon as he had said them, he knew he was right. “We should take Bill to game. I mean, when’s the last time he got to go? I bet it’s been a long time. He’s always so busy. He could use a break. I bet he would like to go to a game.”

Ray looked at Cas, his eyes shining with so much gratitude that Cas didn’t even know how to process it. “You know, that’s a damn good idea, son. He does deserve a break. And if he gives you any hassle about it, I’ll make him go. I’m his dad; he has to listen to me!”

Benny bit down on his bottom lip gently, chewing thoughtfully at the skin there. “You wanna do that, little bird?” he asked, the now familiar endearment slipping out without any thought to their current audience. “You wanna go see a baseball game?”

“I…” Cas stuttered, caught by the warmth filling his chest at the idea. It was such a human thing that he could do, such a human experience that he could share, with Benny and Bill and maybe even others; then he could bring the memory back and share it with Ray. Ray seemed to like reminiscing over memories. “Yes,” he answered. “Yes, I want to do that.”

Benny grinned, slow and sweet, dimples dotting his cheeks. “Alright then, we’ll see what we can do.”

“Hey, see if you can get Ray to bring me back one of those big foam fingers. I need some kind of souvenir.”

Benny turned his twinkling blue eyes back to Ray, and Cas was glad because at that moment he wasn’t sure he could look at them anymore and continue breathing normally. He thought he should be concerned, but he really wasn’t. He was happy to be making plans with the people he cared about.

**  
**Benny patted Ray’s knee reassuringly and chuckled. “You got it!”


End file.
